"Forgiving" people is such a natural response when it comes to us as human beings. The words almost fall out of our mouths, but deep inside you still feel the hatred, anger or disappointment toward the other person. It is not that you don't want to forgive them, it is just that you feel incapable of doing it yourself.
Well sorry to break it to you, but it is... We don't have the power to forgive people out of our own strength, even though we really want to. We can only truly forgive people when we give it all over to Christ and at the same time also heal from unforgiveness.
Little did I know, when joining Global, that I still had to forgive people in my life. I always thought that I have already dealt with it. It is only now that I realized that my words and feelings were in contrast with each other when I said that I forgive people. I was just saying it out of a natural response. During the first weeks of training I felt like a punching bag, the feeling of unforgiveness crushing my bones with each blow and realizing that I don't have the capability of facing it on my own. Also realising all the bitterness and anger that I have suppressed because of me not truly forgiving people. This is where I have learned that I can only forgive people when I ask for help and sharing it out loud, not just keeping it to myself. And NOW I can truly say that I have never felt this free in my life! Just by asking for help and giving it all to Jesus.
The thing is, it is not only forgiving the people around me, but also myself. In Hebrews 8:12 it says that "I will never again remember their sins", wow, I mean that is pretty intense if you think about it! We as people always tend to look directly into our past and the sins we committed, but He just looks past all that! Mind blowing! It is definitely a journey that I am still on, forgiving myself and realizing that the blood of Jesus was enough for me! Just grasping the idea that He gave us a book with white pages.
I truly hope that we start to break down the natural response of "forgiving" people and start replacing it with the forgiveness that comes through the help of God.