When reality hits me in Jamaica.
When I was still in school, teachers loved reminding me how good or easy I still have it. How the tough part in life comes when you no longer experience the comfort of routine, family, friends and dependency on others. They used to tell me that reality is a cruel thing, striking you when you're down and waiting patiently for you to muster the strength to force yourself back up, only to hit you again with an evil smirk on its face. They would say "One day you will think back and you will wish you never saw or experienced the true reality of life". And I would smile. I'd think "They don't get it. Reality is merely of this world. It cannot touch me when I'm in Christ. It's a term made up by the devil to attack your faith...and I will not cause it to get me down. I will stay in Christ and find my hope and joy in Him". But then you get to Jamaica and you see what your teachers were going on about...this reality thing they speak of. You don't just see it, you feel the blow of it in the deepest part of your being. When, you ask?
Well, reality hits when you catch a whiff of weed on the corner of every street. It hits you through the face when you see the destructive powers of poverty in people's lives. Reality hits you right in the gut when you experience the pain of a lady being written off by the rest of her family. Reality takes the knockout blow when a woman walks up to you in the streets of Jamaica and asks you if you want her child, because she doesn't. It waits for you to get back up, then takes another swing at you when you look into the eyes of an old man, just waiting to be put out of the misery of peeing in his pants because he can no longer do anything by himself. Reality pushes you to the ground when someone dies in the middle of your conversation with his friend, and that's just part of everyday life...the new roommate is already waiting outside the door. Reality kicks you on the ground when you see the pride still left in your heart, and it hits you when you realize the "old man" in you has somehow wiggled himself off of the cross you last left him on. Reality overcomes you when You see where you put up idols in your heart, taking the place God wants in your life, and you realize you cannot break them down anymore.
And so I was attacked by this word I disregarded during my whole high school career. And I realize how powerful this word can be within this world. Satan can use this word to break down your faith little-by-little until just a lukewarm, uncertain "Yeah sure, I believe in God" remains in our thoughts and actions. And so, as I lay on the ground, bloody after being beat up by the reality of this world, I close my eyes and plead: "God, this is a terrible reality, but it's not your reality. Show me how you see these things. Show me your reality"
And he showed me the person he miraculously healed from a drug addiction, leading others to glorify his Name as well. He shows me the child with an empty stomach, who can still sing with absolute joy: "this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine". He shows me the love coming from the Pastor, and extended to whoever want to be a part of this church family. He speaks to me through his Word, telling me that we are all orphans in this world, but he has brought us into his family when we were united with Christ (Ephesians 1:5). He shows me the hopeful sparkle in a lady's eyes, who can't wait to die. Not to escape this life, but to experience what awaits her in the next life in his permanent presence. And God whispers in my ear "I will win you back once again. I will lead you into the desert to speak tenderly to you. I will wipe the many names of Baal from you lips, and you will never mention them again (Hosea 2:14-17) because you are precious to me. You are honored and I love you. (Isaiah 43:4) So rise up, my darling! Come away with me, my fair one! Look, the winter is past, and the rains are over and gone (Song of Songs 2:10-11)."
And yes, my teachers are also right. It is tough not to have my parents to run to...but God says "Run to me!" And it is tough to not have others to depend on, but God asks: "Depend on me". It is certainly tough not to know what will happen with you in the next few hours, days, weeks or even years, but God exclaims: "Trust in me. I promise it will be awesome". So with all certainty I can say "They don't get it. Reality is merely of this world. It cannot touch me when I'm in Christ. It's a term made up by the devil to attack your faith...and I will not cause it to get me down. I will stay in Christ and find my hope and joy in Him"
"Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have disregarded everything else, counting it all as garbage so that i could gain Christ and become one with him." - Philippians 3:8-9a
The first and last photo was taken at an old age home
The second photo is Carla with a handycapped girl
Jamaica here we come
The girl in a black dress with Carla wanted to sell her baby
Working with babies