I was ready to save the world! Superwoman suit - CHECK. Last year just the thought of doing this adventurous Global Challenge gave me an electron bombardment! I got emotional and anxious as I really have a HUGE task to fulfill.
A few months later I'm sitting here vividly realizing I was the one getting saved and that this year was basically giving myself fully over to the King of kings to change me into the new being that He promised to change me into. Everything I ever wanted to be was inside of me all along-Jesus. All I had to do is give over. Obedience. But Oh my, I've got a good grip...
As a result of having four brothers I have been exposed to home made rockets and bombs in my early period of life. I liked it. I liked it when my brother blew up our old television. That incident also changed the answer to the mainstream 'do you guys have a TV?' question when being asked how many siblings I have.
The BOOM is quick, fast and full of excitement. With that in mind, another honest misconception of doing this journey would be that I expected God to use my gifts and talents to just..BANG and without intervention people will turn to Him, get saved and will be convinced of my belief. There was more Bang expectations in my mind than in a nineteen hundred cowboy movie. Now I was waiting for these opportunities like a greedy dog. Look I'm sure God has His BOOM instant moments with people but in my case everything to this point in time is and was a process. Everything took time. In facts the only quick Bang I got on this journey was the realization that the team food bag decided to get off at the next train station than the one we got off. Things with God doesn't always happen with a Bang, instant pudding recipe or fastfood.
Romans 5:4 "Endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation."
My first major process was working through the dark dusty boxes of my past. I couldn't understand why God didn't just take everything away as He definitely consist of the power to do so. But reflecting on my dairy now, this is once again just a platform for God to show that His ways are HIGHER than mine!! I just learn more and more of God during this time and the extended process just made me rejoice more when everything was done. He touched so many more areas and I had time to process allot of things. Healing in nature is also a process not a button.
No matter what I went through or how much it possible could have hurt I always had the Joy of the Lord which was and is my strength. As this Joy is not linked to earthly things.
So just a quick update. We were in Kosovo for two weeks, after Kosovo we were in Malaysia for 4 days (will return there) and at this point in time we are in Australia_New South Wales. In Kosovo we served a missionary family and also spend time with some locals. It was a place where I understood that the reason why we put on our Armor of God is because it's a battle out there and that we walk among the unseen. Beautiful scenery and rich history describes Kosovo best.
I enjoy art and sketching, I was so exited to use my art for the glorification of God. So this was MY idea- I will see a great big vision, paint a huge wall full of what I saw and go all prophetic on it. (BANG) Now, God's way -First I needed to understand that sometimes I can just sketch anything and God will delight in me, in the talent that he gave me. Sometimes that's all He wants. Now if I look back, I see how much God actually used my art without me even taking notice as I'm holding on to the idea that I invisioned. My sketch book was my voice when the language was making no sense, my sketch book led conversations into the topic of my Saviour, my sketch book had more power than I ever could imagine.
On one flight I was booked on a seat away from my team mates next to strangers. I ended up sitting next to a non believer, he went through my artbook and asked me if I read Arabic as I picked up a bible page written in Arabic while working in Bethlehem. I made an artwork from it as it looked really artistic. He insisted on translating it for me and it end up being about the blood of Jesus. After a good conversation about the gospel I asked God to give me a picture that I can draw for him. I got a particular shape that was quite interesting. Looks like lines and gears. I did remember afterwards he told me he wants to become an engineer. Point is, it was not a random page from the Arabic bible in my artbook, it was not a random artbook, it was not a random seat number, it was not a random person and it was not a random picture. This testimony is one of the many where my art was used for His purpose. As for now I got an opportunity to draw a big scale picture for school children in Australia as we share scripture with them.
Sometimes I would stop and stare with humble adoration at the creation then it feels to me like this time around God is showing me His art.
My Big Bang theory would be that darkness was made so light can shine. And let there be light!!!!!!!! After all I'm pretty sure in the start of creation there was a Bang. Father Your Glory shines like crystals. God's way is HIGHER than MY way.
Jehovah-Shalom