Sometime last week while lying in bed I realized that I want more, I need more! I felt like a rejected girlfriend, I felt unloved and unnoticed. I know God is good, I know He loves me, I know He lives in me but I didn't feel it. My head and my heart weren't in the same place and I needed it to be, so this I asked.

The next morning I woke up feeling bound and bothered - I wanted to be free! I expected it to get better, but it got worse. Where was God? Why didn't He answer? Honestly - if this was a real life boyfriend he would be getting it in a bad way. But it's not, we're talking about God! It felt like my heart was hardened and there was nothing more I can do. I asked. Be careful what you ask for!

On Monday I celebrated my 23^rd birthday and spent the whole day locked up in church. At first I was not really looking forward to it, I can easily think of much more exciting things to do. The day however turned out to be much more than I could ever expect or ask for. I had a full on date with Jesus. We laughed, cried, talked, and fought! We spoke about all my past lovers, my desires and future plans.  He addressed every possible issue and assured me that He would never leave me.

 

Finally we went to watch the sunset over the lake and here He asked me to make a promise. The promise and my words were put into deed the next morning. With sunrise - a very early 5:30, I sealed my pact with God by being baptised in the lake. I promised to devote my life to Him and to love Him above all. I gave over and through Philippians He assured me that He would complete the work He started in me.

It was the most amazing birthday date I've ever had. The most intimate experience one could have with God. I came as I was and He took me with all my fears and failures. My God is mighty to save, He can move a mountain, He can wash clean and He did!

 Love