So when the team traveled to Turkey and Macedonia I had to go back home because I lost my passport. Now in normal terms this should have been good? I mean food ,chocolates ,tv ,bed and sleep. Well to be honest I went through Hell, my identity was tested every day for 35 days. I tried to pray for people or do ministry, but I had no passion for it so for 35 days I questioned myself, because works without faith is dead... (James 2:14-20) So many other things piled up against me like this one. And I mean MANY, also because of everthing against me I was experiencing an emotion that does not exist in any language, you could say I was in a void with feelings all around me, but out of reach. So Danie from Global Challenge was back in Potch in South Africa and came to visit me. At this stage everyone tried to preach to me about my feelings yet it was still unexplained, they would only frustrate me and tell me things I allready knew and were doing. So when I spoke to Danie he gave me peace because he spoke out of experience when he got injured in Australia he went through the exact same thing. I came to the understanding that sometimes we go through struggles in life because of something deep inside our souls, but we can't really name it... so God comes to the rescue, but when he takes away what is unexplainable, Feelings unexplained shall arise. So a breakthrough came through when Danie spoke to me, but then the unforseen happened... on the day of my car lisense test I was so ready, but when I got into the car my leggs shook and I could not control the clutch. So the car died three times and once it rolled and when that happened my heart broke man. Because it cost so much for the lessons and the test itself and now where I usually have no nervousness in me at all I fail because of it. Yet again all my failures were before me taunting me asking me over and over. Who am I, and am I a failure? The whole way back home I cried... a grown man crying. I felt degraded and like a failure, no one exept Jesus could restore me. So after joining the group in Kosovo I was left with this question, who am I? Surviving for 5 days alone on a airport with no money, going back home and enduring Hell and traveling in Istanbul on my own taking responsibility for myself for the first time in my life brought me to a conclusion. Only God knows me better than I do myself and therefore the question I seek shall only be answered by Him. So who am I? I am a young man trying to get back on my feet.