I remember being prepped by previous Explore Africa members... They tell you about the adventure, strange foods and even the hardship but the one thing they don't tell you is that the biggest challenge of this year is living with 6 other people, 24/7! Six other people from very different backgrounds, cultures, ages. The really diabolical toilets, sleeping on the floor and mastering the art of bathing your whole body in a liter of cold water seems like child's play compared to getting along with team members. Maybe they tried to tell me but I just was not paying attention.
They don’t tell you about the fights over showers, food, the team computer and the last piece of toilet paper. It is really ridiculous how petty and primitive you can become on a journey like this. The best example of this would be the epic fight my fellow gypsy and I had a few weeks ago over shower time. Hot shower are like shooting stars for us: It rarely happens but when it does it is a fleeting moment that fills our lives with warmth and happy feelings and then just as quickly disappears. After we restored the gypsy peace and harmony I thought “Hang on, it is so silly to fight with someone you really care about over something so insignificant. There is something really wrong with this picture! “They don’t tell you that your team members bring out the worst in you.
They don’t tell you that it is hard as hell to love the people you did not choose and before this year did not even know. (ok , maybe hell is just a little harder)
When we have our team issues I always hear the FRIENDS’s sitcom theme song playing in my head .“So no one told ya life was gonna be this wayyyy…!” The truth is that EA is nothing like the FRIENDS show (although we are a tad funnier..and very humble about it (wink,wink). When Joey is being immature he can be avoided. When Phoebe is too weird or love intrigues becomes to much you are not stuck with each other on a dodgy 24 hour bus ride. The difference between EA and FRIENDS is the forced commitment. In normal life it is easy to avoid the people we don’t get along with. We surround ourselves with people who gets us, laugh at our jokes and dances to our tunes and we disregard the ones who rubs us up the wrong way. EA is the opposite. You cannot avoid your ‘not so favourite’ team members because they are all you have in a strange country. You have no other choice but to deal with conflict.
I think that was God’s intent when he created families. It is also a group of people you did not choose and that you are stuck with for the rest of your life. Sadly in our individualistic culture it is easy to even avoid family members we are not so fond of. What we don’t realize is that God does not bring ‘hard to love’ people across our path to torture us. He does it because He loves us fiercely. Relationships are tough and uncomfortable but it is the essence of our purpose as humans. We are created to be in a relationship with our Creator and each other.
They don’t tell you that God uses your team member to work in the deepest, darkest places of your heart. If I had done this journey with a few hand picked favourites it would have been too comfortable. God handpicked my team members to create the perfect climate for me to take off my mask of ‘having it all together’ They have seen my waterslides and temper tantrums. They have seen all my uglies and I have seen theirs…
The best way to describe this year is with our EA road trip analogy.In the beginning of the year we get into a car to go on a long road trip.Everyone is very excited, starry eyed, bushy tailed and so fond of each other. Then a little bit into the journey someone gets carsick and vomits. The rest are shocked and concerned but as the trip continues eventually everyone vomits at different stages. Our personalities determine how we vomit. Some does it quietly in a corner. Some has very visible projectile vomiting. Some does it in secret and only tells the rest when she has cleaned up the mess. Some are in denial about it and while vomiting will say. “I’m not vomiting, really!” (Just in case you have not caught on my now, vomiting is a metaphor for emotional issues, inner turmoil, conflict or frustrations. )There are those precious moments where nobody is vomiting and we all just enjoy a breathtaking African landscape or have a good laugh.
One gets tired of vomiting and cleaning up other’s vomit but in the process we are learning valuable lessons about relationships and commitment.
It is hard to be committed to something imperfect. That is why friendships end, people get divorced, churches split and families are estranged. It is just too damn hard. ( am I allowed to use that word on the GCEX website?)We surround ourselves with people we like (that is, until they aggravate us too) and in the process we rob ourselves of the treasure and depth that unconditional love brings to us and others. To love something imperfect is not a human effort but a divine gift modeled by our Heavenly Father.
God is committed to something imperfect. He is committed to us.
We fall horribly short. We fail him. We hurt him with our stubborn sin. We disappoint him. We forget about him. Deny him. Defile him. Crucify him.
Yet he still chooses us. Loves us. Believes in us. Forgives us. Died for us.
What they don’t tell you when you sign up for Explore Africa is that you, against all odds, fall in love with your team members( strictly in the brotherly love way, not in the forbidden “no relationship” way) Dear brothers, lets love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins.”-Peter .This is not cheap love, it comes at a price. It means being the least. Forgiving hurtful words. Letting go of your rights. Laying down your pride. Significant love always means significant sacrifice. “For God so loved the world that he gave His only Son.” John 3:16
They don’t tell you that the most beautiful thing that you will ever see this year is not the treasures underneath the Red Sea or a magnificent Kenyan sunset but it is witnessing the transformation the Father’s love brings to the lives of your team members.
The FRIENDS song’s chorus sums up the theme of love and commitment beautifully:
“Ill be there for you when the rain starts to fall,
Ill be there for you when there’s no one at all,
Ill be there for you, like you’re there for me too”
Hey, maybe they tried to tell me, but I just was not paying attention:)