Personal and group reflection time in Egypt had me chomping on the following food for thought: in a land ruled by an Islamic state, where Muslim converts to Christianity are persecuted to the point of fleeing from their families and country, in a land where the only native Christians are those that were born into Christian families, a land where the truth of our own faith often needed to be guarded and the nature of our travels shared cautiously for our own safety... in that land... what on earth was I doing there?
We now find ourselves in Thailand, the "Land of the Smile". We are privileged to be staying and working with an incredible group of Christians: a pastor who is a true model of faith, and the handful of adults and multitude of children that make up his community church. But outside of that group, as we walk through the village, or travel through or to surrounding towns, we are perpetually colliding with the evidence of idol worship: Buddhas with their big bellies and sleepy grins, brightly painted spirit houses sheltering offerings of bottled water or even chocolate (that are waiting to be consumed by the spirits that live within?), statues of gods with animal features or multiple arms... In this land of symbolism, where language barriers - which we have imposed by our non-existent Thai vocabulary - prevent most (but definitely not all!) meaningful conversation with strangers... in this land... what on earth am I doing here?
Our sleeping mats will next be rolled out in China, a land from which stories of the persecution of Christians and intolerance of missionaries flow like tea, and where the words "underground" and "smuggle" are used when describing the activities of the latter... in that land... what on earth will I be doing?
These are my thoughts:
I am not a missionary. But I want to know and be constantly reminded that I am going with a mission - a plan, a purpose, a motivation. I want to serve people. I want to learn about them, their culture and their way of life. I want to leave each town, city or country having made friends. I want to find and follow what God is doing in each place we visit. I want to seek Him in every moment, on every street corner, on every bus, train or plane, in every conversation, and in every person. Not to bring God, but to reveal the God that is already there. I want to love people. I want to put them before myself. I want to give freely and love without restraint. I want to be an example to others of a life lived in captivated devotion to God. I want to radiate that light that is living in me. I want to lead by example. I want to learn and be open to learning. I want to be changed, renewed, molded and refreshed. And I want others to experience that too. I want to be an instrument of growth: to build up and to lift up. I want to change people's lives by my interactions with them - not because of who I am, but because of who He is that lives in me.
And I want you to hold me to this mission.