How to "Walk Like an Egyptian" in Cairo... ...then, just as I was getting ready to install an expander elastic in all my pants, we exchanged the peaceful farm for a loud, bustling jungle - Cairo.  I didn't know what to expect from Cairo, but somehow what I got still managed to be unexpected. 

In the three days that we were there, I compiled this list of how to "Walk Like an Egyptian" in Cairo:

1. To Walk like an Egyptian in Cairo, you should get used to how dirty the city is.  A layer of browny grey dust covers everything.  Including you.  In that way that you only realise when you blow your nose or wipe your face with a cotton pad.
2. To Walk like an Egyptian in Cairo, it seems like you will live in a great big crusty old tenement and hang your washing, your bike and pretty much anything else you see fit from your window.
3. To Walk like an Egyptian Couple in Cairo,

   you will take sunset strolls along the Nile and sit on the fencing enjoying a romantic gaze across the water.

4. To Walk like an Egyptian in Cairo, you will drive like a crazy person, hoot often, change "lanes" a whim and without warning, not actually have any marker lanes to drive in, stop in the middle of the road to let passengers in/out and park at whatever angle necessary to get into a "parallel" bay.
5. To Walk like an Egyptian in Cairo, and in light of #4, not be too concerned about the well being of your car - it may get leaned on/bumped into/splashed with paint at any point ... and will of course get covered with a layer of the afore mentioned dust it left parked in one spot for too long.  Which also seems to happen often.
6. To Walk like an Egyptian in Cairo, you will be able to do your shopping

   until about 1am at night, but not before about 10am in the morning.  There streets are packed with shoppers all night long, but most shop keepers then have a little lie-in in the morning.

7. To Walk like an Egyptian in Cairo, you should not be surprised at construction happening all through the night - our first exhausted night in Cairo was spent wondering why (WHY?!?) someone would need to operate a high-powered drill outside our window at 4am.  Seriously. Why?
8. To Walk like an Egyptian in Cairo, you would appear to only get a chance for quiet sleep between 3am and 4am.  26 million people (according to a statistic that was mentioned often and in awe) seem to take it in shifts to be awake (and hooting loudly) so there doesn't appear to be much when no one's awake.
9. To Walk like an Egyptian in Cairo, you can walk (like an Egyptian) to the pyramids.  You may have been under the impression (as I was) that the pyramids are all historically situated in the middle of the desert and that

     you'll need a 4x4, a camel, or a lot of water to admire these ancient masterpieces.  In reality, you can hop onto one of the busy commuter busses, along with the rest of the Egyptians that are on their way from work or shopping or visiting their cousin and ride with them to the entrance of the pyramid area ... which is literally on the edge of the city.  Literally.  As in the skyline goes something like "Flat, Skyscraper, PYRAMID, Tall building, Flat"  Once inside the pyramid complex, you can hail a camel to ensure a 100% historic backdrop for your trick photos holding/standing/leaning against/licking the pyramids (though I decided to cut that out of my Egyptian budget, so you' ll have to get the bumpy details from someone else).

10. To Walk like an Egyptian in Cairo, you'll have about 1 cat per 10 people in the city.  Which may seem like a little until you realise that's about 2.6 million cats.  Or at least that's what it felt like to me.  Everywhere you look, there are cats.  Too many cats.  In the streets, in the backpackers, in closed shops (complete with little bowls of food in case they get a little peckish during the early morning hours), I even say a full squeaking litter of freshly born kittens lying on the pavement of a busy street.  At least they (maybe) don't have a rat problem?