When I arrived on the 10th of January in Jeffreys Bay to start our training for "Global challenge expeditions" , it was mostly the first and the last word of the name that got me excited. Little did I know how much God is going to "Challenge" me to grow in a closer relationship with Him and become more like Him.
Louw often says we need to look for opportunities to serve (and there are many times that these opportunities present themselves). I saw myself as someone that enjoys to help and serve people. And it is true to the extent where I can get something out of it. Because I saw myself as someone that helps others, I found my identity in pleasing other people. It is not a bad thing to help others, but my motivation was in the wrong place.
In the beginning of this week we did a Luke 10 journey. We were sent out in groups of 3, like Jesus sent out the 70 in pairs of 2. We were not allowed to take any food or extra clothes. We had to fully trust God to provide all our needs while we share His love with the people around us. On the last day of this amazing time of seeing God's providence, I was physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausted. Our host asked us if we would like to go and help a widow of 85 to work in her garden. We were excited to also be able to serve someone in doing some physical work. I was amazed at how alive this old lady is and just how much love radiated from her. She goes to the old age home a few times every week to lead bible studies and share Jesus's love with these old people that are useless in the eyes of the world. Something that struck me, was how certain she is in who is. It reminded me of PHILIPPIANS 2. Jesus knows who He is and that is why He was able to leave heaven and come to earth and die on a cross for our sin. He knew who He was in John 13 where it enabled Him to take the role of a servant and wash his disciples' feet. He knew who He was when Satan came to tempt Him and that prevented him from falling into temptation. I am starting to realise who I am in Christ Jesus.
GALATIANS 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ [that is, in Him I have shared His crucifixion]; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body I live by faith [by adhering to, relying on, and completely trusting] in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.
It is only from the place of knowing who I am in Him, that I can serve others without expecting something in return. It is still a challenge, but the challenge isn't to strive to serve more and love more to be seen by others or even becoming a better person. It is about knowing that what Hebrews 10:10 says is true.
"And in accordance with this will (of God), we have been made holy through the offering made once for all of the body of Jesus Christ".
When I start to understand that I stand clean before God because of what Jesus did, I don't have to find my identity in other people anymore. Todd White said: "People can't take away something that they never gave to you." God gave me my identity and I can love and serve from this place.