To be quite honest I struggled alot with my emotions going on a crazy roller coaster the past two months! A little while ago I started feeling emotionally exhausted. I couldn't understand why I would one minute feel so joyful and the next I would feel hopeless and tired.
Until recently God revealed to me more about what was really going on. So as we have a physical realm (everything we see and touch), we have just as real spiritual realm where there is many many spiritual dark forces from Satan constantly attacking us with lies and fiery arrows to keep us from trusting and abiding in God.
Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.
Ephesians 6:11-12
So sometimes God does work through things in our hearts that needs healing or deliverance. For example unforgiveness, anger, learning to love and to have grace etc. Then there are times where we just feel irritated or frustrated or suddenly struggling with things we don't normally struggle with or even things God set us free from. This are times where we are feeling or experiencing what is actually happening around us in the spiritual realm. This is how the devil tries to steal our joy and freedom from us. And for a very long time from me as well.
So during our time in Malaysia I constantly struggled with emotions of hopelessness, purposelessnwss, irritation, frustration, and uncontentment. I felt like there is something wrong with me and felt very guilty for what I was feeling emotionally. Letting my emotions control me. I constantly felt like I needed to fix myself leaving me striving and frustrated. Not being able to rest in God and trusting Him with whatever He is doing in my heart.
When I learned that this was actually a scheme from the devil to steal my joy and intimate time with Jesus it was, how to put it?... Freeing! Because why? God has given us authority over the devil and we inherited the victory that Jesus over evil. We can just walk in and declare that victory whenever He attacks our emotions in this way.
God started teaching me that when I feel all these emotions that is not from Him to actually understand that what I'm feeling is actually what's going on in the people hearts around me, or in that environment or in that country. And what a perfect opportunity isn't it to then be able to pray for that people and against the spiritual attacks on their life.
So Jesus have really been teaching me to walk in the authority He has given us when He died on that cross and the power prayer!
Sometimes we can also become so focused on our own struggles. It is actually so amazing how I could perceive that by shifting my eyes to Jesus, focusing no longer on myself and my struggles (especially with emotions) but rather serving and focusing on the people around me- it was then that God really brought victory in my life with struggles I so long focused on.
No longer is fleshly emotions a struggle for me but opportunity to pray and the declare the authority of Jesus. It is an opportunity to speak into the destinies of people's lives, nations and against the schemes of the devil.
God also brought victory in my heart where there was still fear of people and rejection, fear of the future, fear of finances or fear of not being safe. He brought victory in the fear in my heart and replaced it with trust and peace and Him. This is not because I was meditating on this fears that I knew I needed to be free from but instead by just surrendering it and beginning to pray for other people, serve and love people with my whole heart and all my presence (not just being present with my body but with my heart). And so shifting my focus outwardly setting my eyes on Jesus He brought and is still bringing big victories.