One of my diary entries at the beginning of the year makes a statement concerning an event I expect to happen in the year ahead.
Hebrew 6: 1-2 speaks about leaving the elementary doctrine of Christ behind and going on to maturity.
Let's proceed with the above in mind...
One of my biggest struggles is that of the mind. Far too often I allow the Accuser to play havoc with my mind. Thoughts and emotions enter, are projected into the future and I end up being the one finishing last in all of these "man made fairy tales".
In China one of these thoughts appeared out of nowhere. In retrospect I realised that I also created the opportunity for it to appear (don't ask - the build up to this is not a proud moment). As I entertained the thought I decided to take A-Ha's advice and
go do my crying in the rain. I was in a small town in China and couldn't care less who was seeing this crazy crying foreigner walking around in the rain.
I ended up at a bridge overlooking a river. And just cried out to God. I told Him that this was it. I don't need these struggles any more. Or at least need help to more effectively apply the tools I have because of His Spirit living inside me. I also told Him that I know He is out there but can He please be more real to me. That I needed revelations about my future. I think I was almost at the point of being angry at the Creator of the Universe!
In that moment I experienced that I had to go back to the hotel and ask one of my team members to pray for me. This was someone I never would have gone to before our trip together in China (and now I want to buy him fresh milk when I go to the shop because I know he loves it - praise God for changing hearts). As it so happens the other member of our
travelling trio was also in his room.
Their prayer is not important for this blog. Much more is the realisation that so strongly dawned on me during this prayer. When I opened my eyes I told them that they need to baptise me at the next river. They laughed. Yolandi had a vision at the beginning of China where the three of us was together in the water. And while Johan was praying for me God showed him that I walked to a river.
I was stunned. How amazingly does God work? And doesn't He work best when we are willing to be totally broken before Him?
There was even more confirmation when we met up with the other team members at the end of China. One of the trios ended up being the intercessors for the other teams and their prayer for me was that I would want to be baptised. They also had a dream where I was naked before Johan - which probably refers to me being totally exposed before him that morning.
Doesn't God work amazing? Isn't His timing perfect. He knew the desire that was written down at the beginning of the year and in His time He brought me to a place where I knew it was time.
In no way am I nullifying my baptism as child but find myself at a place where I have to be obedient. I believe that my baptism will be the beginning of a deeper and more intimate walk with God. Like I said to Johan and Yolandi that morning God must "bring it on". I want visions, dreams, tongues etc. Everything that He would like to equip me with to be in line with His will and plan for me.
I know that you should be careful what you ask for...but in this case...I am not scared...!