“Deeper: deep | dēp | adjective
1. extending far down from the top or surface
2. very intense or extreme - intensely felt”
There’s something about the ocean that pulls me so intensely, but something that makes me so immensely scared at the same time.
I want to jump off a cliff into the very depth of the ocean again and again and again, and I cannot help but stare in awe at it’s perfect formation of waves and movements. But when I think of going deeper than usual or when snorkeling on the edge of a reef drop I get a pit in my stomach.
That’s my Father right there.
I truly believe He made the ocean in order for the human brain to have a physical representation of who He is and how much there is of Him to discover. (If He had to compare Himself with physicality)
See, the human mind cannot grasp the quantity of the Father or the beginning or end. So for His children to grasp a little of who He might be, He created the ocean. There’s no beginning nor end. It cannot be measured nor explained. But it’s there. We love the ocean, but we fear the unknown of it.
There’s a song by Bethel Music that sings: “I’m standing knee deep but I’m out where I’ve never been.”
That’s exactly what Jesus did with me in the Philippines. He took me deeper than I have ever been, so deep that it gave me a pit in my stomach, but a sitting-on-the-edge-of-your-seat-what-is-next kind of pit.
The kind of pit where you don’t feel scared, but you know something is coming, something more, something bigger, and your waiting in anticipation for the unknown of God’s love to hit you in the face like your butt hitting the water at the wrong angle after jumping off a 10m cliff. AND I’M ONLY KNEE DEEP??
The Father, standing knee deep next to me, is taking my hand, and although I’m only knee-deep, I’m looking behind me and i see the shore I’m no longer living on, the lukewarm shore displaying the ocean in front of you but convinces you that it’s better and nicer at a safe watching distance, and in-front of me I see deeper waters. And that’s where the pit comes in.
“Chizel, I’m taking you deeper, I’m taking you further into the unknown, are you ready?”
And obviously my reply is: “Jesus if you don’t, I’m telling Papa.”
HE NEVER LEAVES ME!!!
He’s taking me into the unknown and deeper every day, but He doesn’t say ‘ok go deeper now’. Instead He takes my hand and says ‘I’M taking you deeper, are you ready to trust me?’
HE is taking me. HE is leading me. HE is beside me.
And the pit becomes the most exciting thing I’ve ever experienced in my entire life, and the reef drop and the blackness of the deep ocean becomes the calmness i hold onto, but at the same time the raging fire inside of me.
In conclusion: over the past few weeks in the Philippines i have felt my Father intensely. He has taken me deeper and I have waved goodbye to the shallows with the biggest smile on my face.
I now hunger for more depth and look forward to when Jesus is going to take me to those places and what the next piece of ocean has to offer.
To be knee-deep has never felt so deep yet shallow at the same time.