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The kind of love you want to shout from the mountain tops.

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Some of you might not know this about me, but my father passed away about 8 months ago, And although he was a GREAT man and i loved him very very much, his fathering skills sometimes lacked here and there, to say the least, which left me at the bottom of the mountain - longing for the love that makes you shout it from the mountain tops, but lacking the love that gets you there.    Throughout my life i had never met the Father, never allowed myself to see Him as a loving, caring, devoted Father, because of the...
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Africa, my Africa.

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Thank you Africa, for teaching me an abundance of things about you, yes, but more about myself. Thank you that you have shared your ways, wonders and wisdom with me.You are family.    Breathtaking Kenya. The beauty in the surrounding nature and the maasai people so extremely proud of their culture took my breath away. The way of simple living changed my perspective completely about prosperity. From bucket showers to elephant jaw-bone toilet seats. Camping in 24h rain and only getting to see the ocean of stars once or twice. Campfires for mainly cooking but the better part of it...
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A Beautiful Mess.

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I have come to the conclusion that i am a messy fractal, planted in the centre of the world, soaking up everything it sets before me. But that is why i have experienced His love. Because He wants me in the midst of my messy roots. Pulling them out one by one, replanting and reorganizing. Watering and nourishing. Until the mess isn’t rotten anymore. Until it’s a beautiful and organized mess. Until i am His mess.  I rejoice in the choice i have made of stepping into the freedom that Jesus offers. A decision that has to be made day by day -...
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'INTENSELY FELT'

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“Deeper: deep | dēp | adjective  1. extending far down from the top or surface 2. very intense or extreme - intensely felt”   There’s something about the ocean that pulls me so intensely, but something that makes me so immensely scared at the same time.  I want to jump off a cliff into the very depth of the ocean again and again and again, and I cannot help but stare in awe at it’s perfect formation of waves and movements. But when I think of going deeper than usual or when snorkeling on the edge of a reef drop...
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After the collision

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Whilst in Bali we had a physical representation of what was busy happening in our team. An earthquake followed by a possible tsunami.    The earthquake in Bali was long overdue. It has been building up and getting closer and closer to collision.When it finally did, it was very sudden, unexpected to be as bad as it was. Just a few moments after the earthquake the tsunami warning hit. Everyone was told to try and prepare themselves - possible evacuation.    Throughout this year i have come to love my team more than i had realized. In Bali, we had an earthquake. Things in team...
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This is it

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They say doing a year like this is jumping into the deep end. But I experience it quite different. Jumping into the deep end only comes after doing a year like this. These people have been a part of every moment of my shaping and changing. They push me to be better. To press in when I feel like I can’t. To look up instead of surroundings. To pray first, always. They know me better than I’ve ever experienced someone knowing me, and I see Jesus in every single one of them so clearly. Parting from this family is to...
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I lost my heart where Jesus walked on water

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The empty tomb was just an empty tomb.Mt. Olives’ beautiful view was just another mountain with a beautiful view. The garden of Getsemaneh’s colorful flowers was just a garden with colorful flowers.    I’m not gonna lie, i’m thankful off my socks that i got to experience the places where my Jesus did the breathtaking things he did, but something that i realized throughout the past 10 days in Israel is that Jesus lives, which makes all of these places just that - places.    Its beautiful to see and experience, but something i’ve tricked myself into believing is that...
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Why are you here?

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Why are you here? Why did you decide to do this journey? What did you want out of it? Were you prepared to give up this much?    Throughout the last few weeks i’ve been confronted with questions that challenged my heart in a very surreal way.  Have you found comfort in your uncomfortable circumstances? Are you comforted by the people in your team that has become family to you?  Get uncomfortable. Comfort can become the killer if you let it.    Who would’ve thought that one can find comfort and become comforted in the most uncomfortable circumstances?  And once...
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A whole lot

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When i look back at Jordan it might seem dry and sad and full of heart break, but when i look back at Jordan with Jesus in it i see fulness, lessons learned and hope.  Yes, Jordan did break my heart. Listening to stories about families losing families. Children and their hopeless futures, having so much to offer yet so little opportunity. Love lost and no love found.  One of my dear friends said the following: “it’s not what they’re going through or in what situation they find themselves, but that they’re going through it without Jesus.”  When i take...
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