God has been putting something om my heart the last few weeks to share with you all. This journey started during Guatemala, but I´m still on it and will probably still be on it the rest of my life..
I grew up with a mindset of pride and thinking I never need men for anything, I can do everything on my own. So as soon as a guy will ask for help I would immediately say no thank you, I can do this on my own. I thought this was right and that all women feel this way. The in 2010 God started something in me, without me even knowing about it. We as girls had a series of teaching regarding how God created women, us being wives and our role as women and eventually as wives. This started to change my way of thinking that I don't need men to help me.
Part of this was looking at the first women created in Genesis (Gen 2:20 "But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.") Here I clearly recognized that I, as a woman, was created to be a helper. Reading this for the first time in my life I realized that the pride I had in my heart was not from God and He created me as a woman, a helper to man. We also looked at some other scriptures like Prov 31:10-31, Eph 5:22-32 and 1 Pet 3:1-7.
"rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 1 Per 3:4" This is what God started in me 2 years ago and I only came to realise this during our time in Guatemala. It started when I was in prayer one morning and God said He want to renew and restore my beauty outwardly as well. Growing up with 3 boys was loads of fun, but in a way it did steal from me being a girl and now being a girl. I just never knew there is a balance in being a girl and playing with the boys.
I always had a way of fitting in with boys and then ended up dressing like them and getting that type of mindset. Because I just felt at home with boys I never wanted to dress like a girl of be like a girl, just because I thought they would reject me. So this is the mindset I grew up with and in Guatemala God revealed this to me and said that He created me as a women, not only inside but outside as well...
This is the journey I am on currently, renewing and restoring the beauty God created in me.Who would have thought that on a mission trip God will restore the beauty and the worth of a woman in me, I definitely didn't. But this is the process that Gd did start and I have been enjoying it so much, being a lady. To dress nicely the times I feel like it, to wear make-up when I feel like it and just embracing the "benefits" of being a women. And yes I am still scared sometimes that I might be rejected because of this, but God put me on this journey and He never said it will be easy. So every day I am becoming more confident to be a woman inside and out.
The last thing... I know this not only my journey, this is every women's journey some time in her life, we just need to embrace it. Lets find our worth of being women in the Bible again and not on TV or in magazines!