So this is a blog that God put on my heart to write, but for a while I didn't want to write it. But you know God he always gets his way and anyway who are we to argue.
So this journey started in a small town in India called Nainital. Every afternoon we went on our own and then we would talk to God but we go into the town to do it because we pray over the people of the town.
So that day it was just a emotional draining day for me and it was really hard, so I went out not really wanting to pray over the people I really just wanted to be alone. So I went to walk around the lake and just talking to God a bit and singing praise and worship songs because that always gives me a lot of peace and honestly realizing it now and to avoid the feelings I have inside of me. I then met up with some of the members of our team and while I was still in my own thoughts not paying to much attention to what they are actually talking about God showed me that there were walls in my life that he wants to come and break down, I could not believe it and I also didn't know what is because in my mind I didn't have any walls in my life that needed to come down and also in my life breaking down walls in life has really been hard and has taken many years of persevering before it was finally down. So that night when we had a team meeing. I couldn't talk and I was really sad and the team just prayed over me.
The next day while rest of our team went horseback riding I went and sat somewhere quite and talk to God I went with the idea that I am going to ask God to show the wall in my life that needs to break down I going to pray over it and that will be that, well it wasn't like that, all God gave me was peace about the fact that he is not going to show me now and that is exactly what he did. I was at such peace and I just had great time dwelling in God word and speaking to him. It was such a refreshing time after that I felt I could take on anything.
So in Thailand when we were in Takoa Pa we were weeding the garden of community centre and God was pulling weeds out each of our lives as well. That is when God showed me what the wall was in my life and fact of the matter is I wasn't surprised at all when he showed it to me and the wall was sharing.
I personally don't like to share and I don't mean a chocolate, I mean emotional stuff the truth is I don't like it and I really get uncomfortable and my heart start racing and I really struggle to express how I feel about things. When God showed me I realized how that wall has influents my life and even my relationship with God. It influents my relationship with people that are close to me especially my parents and other people that is close to me in life. Then of course I realized the effect that it has on my relationship with God. God wants to know everything about what is going on in our lives even though he already knows everything we read that in his word in Psalm 139, he still wants us to share our life with him our frustrations our joys and sadness. I realised that I only do that when I feel comfortable with that and that has formed a wall in my life.
So this wall is slowly but surely beginning to breakdown. The first step in that was sharing it with the team an then another step was writing this blog that God put on my heart.
With this blog I want to encourage you to share your live with God because God wants to know what is going on in your live not just the things you think to share but everything because that is what God asks us to do.