“Abba, I belong to you!” Five words that will be etched into my life forever. Words that have been spoken by many, but truly felt by little. These last few months have been a rollercoaster. So many unexpected turns, so many ups and downs, so much turbulence but so much freedom.
I was thinking about all the people that came before me. All the people that had to make a conscience decision to follow Jesus blindly into what He was doing for them. I recall the story of Cain and Abel. Abel brought a better sacrifice to God by a true act of faith. He was blessed not because of what he brought but by what he believed while bringing the sacrifice to God. I remember Enoch, he skipped death completely because of his radical faith that God truly exists and that He is a Father that responds to anyone who seeks Him. Abraham said yes to the Father calling him to unknown places. He never knew where he was going but still he trusted that what the Father was calling him into was good. Abraham realized that faith was not doing something for God but entering into what God was doing for Him. Abraham kept his eyes on the unseen that has real and eternal foundations. I remember how Sarah, who was barren, became pregnant because she believed that the One who makes a promise will do what He says.
There are countless examples in the Bible that teach us and show us what radical faith looks like. Up until now I thought I knew what it was. I could recite Hebrews 11:1 without falling over a single word. I have Romans 2-4 memorized up to a point of longing to actually feel what it feels like to actually have a faith that people write about in books. But faith I have learned in these last couple of weeks is more than just words on paper. It is more than knowing what it is. I had the privilege of actually feeling what it feels like to walk in blind faith. Knowing that it is believing in the goodness of the father without having to do or bring something to earn His provision and goodness. Knowing that God is as real as the person standing next to me and that He is truly a faith and good Father that always responds to our needs and that He is always there when we seek Him. That He answers before we even call, and that He hears while we are still speaking (Isaiah 65:24). Knowing that when we say yes and take the radical step of blind faith the Father comes and rewards and blesses with good and wonderful things. Actually knowing, because I felt it in reality, that faith is stepping into what He is doing for me not what I can do for Him.
It is a faith that makes me cry out “Abba!! I belong to you!” I know this because He said that He will provide and He did, He does every single second. He reminds us constantly with the things that He provides and gives us without asking anything in return. I walked the highways and cities of South Thailand knowing, truly convinced that I do not need to worry because I have a Father who delights in giving me things and blesses me with abundance. Peace was something we were walking in not something that we needed to find or happen upon.
I do not know what the next couple of months will hold. I do not even know what will happen in the next year and even after that, but i do know that I serve and rest in a Father who knows. And that He will answer before I even ask and hear before I even speak. I know that when I cry out “Abba! I belong to you.” He answers with love and grace. He has full jurisdiction over who I am and where I am going. He can take the wheel, because He knows where to go. Me? I will just ride shotgun, I can admire the views so much better from there