A 24 year old girl has recently discovered after years of living in "poverty" that she won the lottery at the young age of 10.
She never checked her bank account to see how much she was actually entitled to. She was living like all the other people around her, according to the standards of her immediate reality. She did not realise that she was actually free from the rules she had made for herself. She was free from a life dictated by checklists that everyone around her was striving for. She had it all along but she just did not realise it.
This is how I feel everytime that God reminds me of His Grace.
It is amazing how quickly I forget it and try, once again, to take things into my own hands. Thankfully now when I inevitably fail instead of feeling guilty, self-condemning or surprised when I realise that I simply cannot do it right...I realise oh, this is the good news that everyone talks about, this is why I needed Jesus to die for me on the cross.
I do not have to try harder or look for another 10 step plan or diet or exercise plan or bible reading plan or specifically worded prayer or church leader to help me. Jesus died for it. Not only did He die for it but He rose from the dead for me to stand in victory and freedom over all! No matter if it is the smallest worry or care or the biggest addiction or sin. I do not have to keep asking if I am really free , that would be like the girl checking her bank account and seeing millions of rands asking if they really belong to her.
I should rather ask and discover how God wants me to live in this UNDESERVED freedom that came out of God's love for me when I deserve it least.
Sitting and staring at the bank balance in unbelief does not make the money less real, but it does makes it useless if not used. The same is true with grace, it is always enough but when I do not believe it is enough or mine to have I make it useless and put myself back under the law and the condemnation and guilt it brings.
Now that I am not focusing on the problems or what I am struggling with in life and how to fix it. I can focus on God and what He has in store for me. So far it has been an adventure of freedom like no other. Each time a new issue comes up I get to discover that wow grace also applies here, like I have just discovered a whole bank account of freedom all over again. It usually takes a few failed attempts of me trying to do something by focusing on the problem instead of being and focusing on God and being obedient to Him.
God is certainly not boring, limiting or predictable. When God is in control you just have to hold on! God made me, He certainly knows the plan for my life and how to satisfy my all my needs and desires. His grace is sufficent. Thank you Jesus you are The winner man everyday.*