While in Zambia, in a brave moment I asked God to show me what my heart really looks like... You see, if you don't know or come to realise just how black your heart is, you won't realise the full extend of your need of a Saviour.
In Malaysia I began to see myself for who I am without His mercy and grace...to say it's not a pretty picture would be the understatement of my life.
Selfish, self-centered, proud...just go through the Bible and everything that you should not be, that is me -that is my heart. I believe that God have just shown me the surface of my heart, not the deep, dark dephts that I am not even aware exists. But it does.
I went through a very rough time to come to grips with who I really am at the very core of me. Yesterday it dawned on me that if that is what I am and how I must come across to other people, how much worse must it be for God to look at me -and He CAN see my heart?!
I was crushed. How could a God that is purity and holiness embodied even stand to look at me...
That is when the extend of His grace hit me straight between the eyes. He send His Son. His Only Son. To die for me. For my nasty, hardened, wretched, black heart. How can one say thank you to the Lord of Lords for that?
Everyday you can start on a fresh page with God. You can stand blameless in front of a God who does what He says He will do. One who is faithful. One who forgives when you come to Him and confess your ultimate weakness.
How can I not lay down my life for such an awesome, loving and just God?
Written by Christine Vermooten