Desert wanderings in Jordan

So we started our Jordan trip with a very easy border crossing that put us in Mafraq about 2 hours earlier than anyone expected. Once again we got very few and basic questions at the border and gave them honest answers and said some things we probably should not say. We started our ministry at ….

and that concluded our time of ministry in Jordan.

We had the privilege of being donated some money to go traveling in Jordan and we used it to go to Wadi Rum and a few places along the way for our last days in Jordan. On the way to Wadi Rum we stopped at Shoback castle and it was so cool, I loved it. We met a very interesting man on the way that runs a “hotel”. At Wadi Rum a dessert (famous for Lawrence of Arabia) we stayed overnight and sadly it was cloudy so we missed the sunset and sunrise that is suppose to be some of the best in the world. But we did get a good show that evening and some really good local food. The morning we started early had some tea in the desert and went to some cool places, man it is a beautiful place. From there we went to the dead sea and saw some random and beautiful places along the way, it took us a bit longer to get to the dead sea that meant we only had a short time there to get in. The water is so salty it feels oily and it burns. From there back to the border and back into Israel to catch our flight. Again a very easy border crossing. We had a small hick-up after the border with transport but in the end we got out of there and then we had the most random and blessed ride from Jerusalem in a shared taxi bus that the guy promised to drop us at the airport for about half the normal price and only about R20 more than the cheapest option (that included a lot of walking) would cost. But on the bus we met the 3 people from Ghana and immediately there was an African vibe going and we found out that the 1 man is a pastor in a church in Tel Aviv. It was such a divine appointment and we knew we had to be on that taxi. At the airport we got our first opportunity to sleep in an airport this year. It was good, we found a nice quite spot and got a good night sleep in, a rarity for airport sleeping in general. Again we got through security easy even if it took long, it was in fact very funny and we had a good laugh with the security personal about the contents of our bags.

Personal

Even though the ministry time in Jordan was really good and the Church and time with friends was really good it was a difficult time for me. When we got to Jordan there was some real tension between the team and everyone went into a bit of a self involved state, myself included. At that time I was highly frustrated with some of the more administrative aspects of my role and was struggling to figure out what my role was about. Our time was also not really fixed and that gave me the space to really hide away and just cop out from what was going on. This indulgence in distractions and not being there really did not help the rest of the team engage in what was going on, thus our first week to 10 days was really scratchy and bad. I had a bit of a wake up call after that due to change in circumstances, but looking at things did not help the frustration since it just mad more and more problems seem to pop up. In this time I went for a Jordanian shave to clean up on the outside and what an experience that was, they did not only shave me and facial, but gave me a full trim of hairline, eyebrows, nose hair and even trimmed my uni-brow, I good deal for R40. The biggest problem was that I was trying to look at things from a logical place and not seeking God as to what His plan is. I got a good kick up the behind from a friend back in SA when I was looking for sympathy and that made me stop and look at what was going on (thx). Stopping to pray and ask what was going on was good, though, but good. In that time things started to go better with the team and all of us started to engage a bit more in what was happening not only in the ministry, but also in each other. All in all starting to engage also just pointed out so much more in myself that is not submitted and that was difficult to face. It felt like I had to start all over again and so much of what I learned last year was lost, but that was not right. It is just that I am on such a different personal journey that it feels like I am starting over, but it is building on what happened before. It is still hard at times to engage and it is most obvious in my struggle to write and journal, something that helped me proses what was going on during last year. Also when I did engage in what was going on in that time I got some really scary scripture and word for what God has planned and it scares me, really scares me and then I stand back. The times I did do what I felt God was calling me to there has been some really interesting results and that scares me even more. But the most encouragement I took from that time was a feeling that God made me promise that this proses is to shape me and bring me into full, natural submitted life. And that when I do things out of obedience it will not be against my desires and instincts, but that it will all line up.