I am content
This... this took me 18 years and 8 months. I just got at this point were I gave over and yes I still get those breakdown moments where I try to open the door of self control again but,I am content.
God came these two months like a mighty crane and demolished everything I knew and everything I thought I knew. Then, well then He came to me in my broken and stripped place and talked so soft and gentle.He knocked and I did not want to open the door but still He went to gather lilies for me (Song of Solomon 6:2-3) and this melted my heart completely.
I am content.
He has cleansed me and helped me to submerge my pride in His love and to die everyday.I know now that I can hear His voice, I know that physically I CAN NOT do this without Him. I know that He loves me even though I sin daily.
I am content.
Content means to be happy, satisfide, to be at peace and I don't want to stay where I am, I want to grow more but here right now I am okay, and at peace.
In training I have learned so much that I am grateful for this journey.
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