Sometimes the birds need to leave the nest, well not just sometimes. It is a given. Birds are bound to fly, soar and poop on people to make their day interesting. Jeffrey's is like a nest for me, not in a passive "safe" way, it was just the place where I could grow and now it's time for them to kick me out of the nest. Flying, doing what I was called for and learning how to use what is given to me, like my wings. Leaving a birth place, the place where missions was born in me, is...
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I don't even know what to say, so I am just going to tell you what we did and hope that God will reveal to you the significance of every small detail. One day at celebration we heard that the community are going to fast until the "It's time" prayer meeting in Bloemfontein. We as a team felt led to also fast and so we did. Fasting for me is to kill self, not feed flesh, and give space for Spirit to get fed and bloom. I fasted before (we did a Daniels fast) and never had it been this...
I am content This... this took me 18 years and 8 months. I just got at this point were I gave over and yes I still get those breakdown moments where I try to open the door of self control again but,I am content. God came these two months like a mighty crane and demolished everything I knew and everything I thought I knew. Then, well then He came to me in my broken and stripped place and talked so soft and gentle.He knocked and I did not want to open the door but still He went to gather lilies...
God will always meet you at that crossroad... where you are, breaking down feeling unworthy or maybe not, maybe you are even standing there in awe. In wonder of who He is, what you have done and His grace that is just sweeping over in. It does not even matter where you are at, He will meet you there. I have learned that I have always put my identity in what I have done like the lost son feeling unworthy but God, man...God is just so amazing and He is my identity speaker, speaking into my life, speaking truth, speaking...
I know people speak about "a dessert season" in their spiritual life, I did not think I would ever experience it and now that I am in that season I even thought it would be different, bad in a way. Let me put it like this. In a dessert everything looks the same. Every sand hill looks like the one you just passed. The sun and heat is so unbearing that you don't feel anything after a while. After a few hours you just stumble around and fall short not knowing what you are doing. With me I have a...
They said "#imagine", and we asked "what can we do?".... craziest commitment ever It's almost like a really bad poem that ends beautifully with a lot of life lessons in it. Work hard, don't stop. Offense is a choice, don't waist food, don't get attached, you need friends, good friends. And you are gonna need a moment. Growing is something we can do on beautiful days, you know? Like a day you too would sing about. But I do not care so much for those days because windy, bad, sunny, crazy warm, not beautiful days you can grow on too...
It's like that Father to daughter, daughter to Father conversation that goes something like "Dad my life is falling apart!" "No it's not here is some cake" kind of thing. Yes this is crazy. Yes I am freaking out and yes it feels like my life is a movie but it is okay. I am okay. God keeps blessing me in crazy ways like we got one week to go home and when I went I did not know how I was going to get back to Jeffreys Bay, and then God just provided. It was through people I did...