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tears...

Where to begin!  I feel as if so much has happened that I would like to share...so settle in and get comfortable, I'm going to take you through a few of my thoughts...

I'm actually going to begin in South Africa and let you in on a few of our sessions that really touched my heart!  Throughout our time of training we had speakers that were not part of our leadership team...they helped to give us information about the countries we will be visiting and also some great spritual guidance.

During my quiet time one morning I prayed that throughout these 80 days of travel God would take me deeper into my relationship with Him...He began that deeper journey in a session on India.  A very knowledgeable lady shared many stories with us and very useful cultural information.  I cannot mention many specifics for security reasons, however I am going to try to give you a snapshot of what she shared with us...

Surrender...a young girl is studying and on the day of her graduation she receives word that her Father has had a heartattack and she must return home...her Father was very significant in her dreams and her life...together they had dreamed of beginning a church in the area where her parents lived, dreamed of sharing Christ with many...when she arrived home (after several hours of travel) she opened the door to find her Father cut into pieces by a radical extremist group.  The family mourned with loud wailing, torn clothes and immense grief.  Her professor phoned and asked her to return to him along with her mother and said that he would become her Father.  She refused..."Christ's heart of compassion would not let her take the easy way out," instead she at the age of 18 began a church in the exact place her Father was brutally murdered...that is a life of surrender and amazing compassion for a hurting world...

Broken Cup...imagine a styrofoam cup...the top has a bitten off piece, there are many small holes in the sides, maybe a cut or two, there is even a small pin prick in the bottom...now take a pitcher and pour water into this cup.  It goes everywhere and definitely is wasted, not hitting the intended mark.  This broken cup is us...we are broken, damaged...everyday we have small 'injuries' that hinder us from wholeheartedly serving Christ and pouring ourselves out where He intends.  Now, imagine a clean new styrofoam cup...no holes, no bite marks, no cuts or pinpricks...this is Christ and when we surrender ourselves fully each day He walks beside us, using us exactly as He intended our gifts to be used...we then can be poured out as He wishes and hit His mark.

 As we neared the end of this session I could feel my already moist eyes tearing up once more.  I had shed a few tears at key points in this session, however I felt that the doors of a floodgate were about to be opened...as we prayed and took a few moments to digest what we had just heard my heart burst...my tears  became uncontrollable.  The soil of my heart was so soft and workable...God was definitely preparing me for the amazing ministry we will be a part of as well as washing my soul to be ready to love wholeheartedly on these children who have been rejected by their own society.  They are viewed as the lowest of the low and that they have No worth at all...they will never be anything in their society's eyes.  My heart still breaks now as I ponder these words, my eyes get a bit moist, but my soul is so excited...these kids are precious!

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