Right in the center of God's will is where I want to be!
On the 9th of January I came to Jeffrey's bay for the global challenge training, with the thought of doing Northbound this year, I was so convinced that God wants me to do it, Because last year before I applied I got few scripture that guided me to global challenge. But with no finances for the journey, I took a step of faith and trust God that He will provide because He wants me to go on this journey. So 2weeks of training went by and no money came in for me. Wednesday the 25th of January came and it was "D-day" for a certain amount of the money for the journey and yet no money came in for me. They had to tell me I can't go on the journey because they had to buy the plane tickets. On the 25th of January my dreams shattered, all I saw was a dream that is in thousand pieces laying on the ground. Anger, sadness, confusion, and a broken heart is what I was left with, I battled with God on the beach that day, somehow on that moment where all this emotions drowning me I had to believe Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God.." I thought that was just absurd, how can God even expect of me to believe that on that moment, man I battled with God right there, because God's promise didn't look like its coming to pass on that moment when I looked at the circumstance, my mind couldn't understand in any way how can it be for my good to stay behind than to rather go out to the nations and spread the gospel to them. As I sat in despair on that beach, I just heard God's voice saying "I have something better for you". I couldn't think how it could possibly be better for me to stay! I decided to stay for the rest of training, through the weeks of training God kept on molding and shaping me more and more into His image and strengthen me spiritually. He overwhelmed me with His amazing love day by day, I've seen His faithfulness over and over and over again through training. This whole experience of God and His presence was something different than I've experienced before, I realized this was me experiencing God in His fullness, and man oh man I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I started to actually believe God has a better plan for me this year than I have for myself.
I would rather stay behind and be right in the center of God's will for my life than to be out there in the world and without God's blessing upon my life. It took obedience for me to come to Jbay and that is exactly what God asks of us, man I've realized how important obedience is and there is no grey areas when it comes to obedience, If God calls you to come or to go He expects of you to be obedient without questioning.
And today I know that I know that I know God's promise for my life will come to pass because God's promise is not based on my circumstance!!!
Tomorrow the team leaves for India and to think if things were different I would leave with them, and yes its not the greatest feeling to stay behind at the moment but I know for now God wants me here and while I'm here I'm saying here I am Lord at your service!
I pray God's blessing and guidence over the team and I say to you guys go and change the world
Comments