The Struggle

Forget it! I am done! I can’t take it anymore! The honeymoon is over and the real life has begun. Why is it that there is a constant struggle? There is an unspoken struggle in life that has always been there and is so often not worked through and ignored. I am at a place, in this journey, where there is struggle. It’s struggle that’s always been there but it just hasn’t had to be worked through. Everyone no matter who they are gets irritated about something. They get hurt by the way someone says or does something, they think this person is wrong in doing this or that, and the way this person does that frustrates them like crazy.

On this journey the thing that hurts you, irritates you, or the struggle that your right and they’re wrong doesn’t go away and you can’t escape it. You can’t just push down the thing that hurts you because it may happen the next day and the next. So you can either turn into the hulk and burst or you can learn what it means to communicate and love. The thing is this, are you willing to be wrong? Are you willing to get hurt again? So many people have told me that the greatest challenge on a journey like this is your team, and it’s true. Your team makes you aware of all your struggles and faults you have had all your life. It points out the place in all of us that is this frustrating place. It’s this place in us where our irritations are and our frustrations and hurts with regards to others. The only reason a team points it out greatly is because we are forced to be with them, we can’t hide from them, or leave. When you go through your life you can usually ignore or leave these frustrations and hurts but here I am.

“Abide in Me and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit for without Me you can do nothing. “It is an amazing thing to learn to abide in the Father. He gives you grace in your frustrations and hurts and you overcome because it’s not you. Why do we allow this place of frustration and hurt and just continue on in life? Why do we not bring even this to Jesus? Do we think it’s to small? Why is it that we have to wait to be in a team to deal with it? Why do we allow ourselves to ignore it or walk away from it? Now I am at this place and it’s time... it’s time for even this place to be healed, it’s time for me to communicate and ask questions when I’m hurt, It’s time to actually allow the frustrations and irritations come out and allow them to be dealt with, it’s time to let go, and it’s time to abide in Jesus even in this.

This year is an abiding year. Abiding when I am frustrated, abiding when I am tired, abiding when I miss home, abiding when ministering, abiding when worshiping, abiding when serving, and abiding when I just am. I cannot bear fruit without Jesus and I cannot bear fruit without the Father removing the branches in me and pruning me.

We as a team are now abiding in the nation of Cameroon. God has done so very much. Ethiopia was a grand time of ministry. We worked with orphans and widows, encouraging and just spending time with them. For the first time I got to see how God can heal an orphan and remove their mourning, turning it to joy. We then went and stayed with an American family whose heart is to help provide for moms so that their kids don’t become orphans, they have an amazing vision and heart and are seeing so much fruit. It’s amazing to hold and play with the kids, at the day care where they watch, teach, and feed the kids, knowing that they could have been orphans but aren’t. We saw the Father’s heart for children and widows in Ethiopia.

                                                        (at the day care in Ethiopia)

We then flew to Gabon staying a night in a pub and then over landed by public transport to Cameroon... we travelled about 24 hours through the night. In those 24 hours, we stopped 20 times getting our passports checked, being offered a hands in marriage several times, and asked many questions; it was long and tiring. Once we arrived in Cameroon we could finally breathe and since then we have only been blessed.

Cameroon is a place of beauty and green. God is healing this land and bringing new life and growth and is also doing this in our hearts and team. We are ministering with an amazing man of God and pastor. We have already seen people healed, delivered, and a Muslim come to Jesus. It is amazing that what God does in a nation he also does in our team and in us.

      (above is Cameroon and a girl who used to not speak but now is able to :) praise Jesus)

Please pray... for God’s will to be done in Cameroon and in our time here. Also, for us as we are tired and miss home and that this would only give us joy to press through. As well as for our health and protection from Malaria and all of these different foods!

We will continue to minister to the church here as we as their youth, women, and to families. There is so much to come in Cameroon! Freedom, joy, encouragement, and growth! May you be blessed and abide in Jesus. May you abide and let him remove the branches that don’t bring fruit in your life. Let go and Let him! Be so very Blessed!