Arrived, Surrounded, Overwhelmed

How can you possibly be the same person after a year like no other... a year of ministering to the poorest of the poor, a year of simplicity, a year of community, a year of your purpose only being Jesus and loving people? How?

Arriving in America, walking through the airport, looking at people from my nation and hearing people speak the way I speak...I couldn't stop smiling while thinking, I am about to meet my family after a year of not seeing them. This isn't normal for the person walking beside me, to be so excited for one simple moment. Yet that's what has happened...

Standing in a shopping mall on a the biggest shopping day of the year, watching as people walk by busy and spending, and drinking a delicious and enjoyable cup of coffee... thinking about all the people I met this year and how they barely could give us food to eat and those who had a child or mother die tonight. This isn't normal for the person walking beside me, to be so overwhelmed for one simple moment. Yet that's what has happened...

Sitting at home not having anything imparticular to do but just sit, watching some tv and eating the food that used to be my favorite... thinking about how I don't really want to watch tv, I don't care about the tv show that plays every week on monday, or about the food that I am eating. As a matter a fact, it is actually hard for me to sit here and watch tv. This isn't normal for the person sitting there on their couch to think so much about doing something so simple as nothing. Yet that's what has happened...

Standing there next to people who used to annoy me, who had habits of chewing or slurping or speaking, that all just frustrated me... thinking of the african kids that tackeled me and said I love you, who has no one to love them or tell them that they are amazing. This isn't normal for the one still irritated or annoyed, to not care any longer about those things, but just be okay. Yet that's what has happened...

As we arrived back in South Africa we got to minister to a lady who is an alcoholic and struggles with drugs. She is a lady who has lost custody of her kids and barely stays a float, by working a job, just watching cars. We chatted with her several times in the week but one particular evening we got to see Jesus touch her. She asked us to sing songs with her about the God, she was trying so desperatly to find again, so we did. We began worshiping on the street corner, dancing before Jesus with joy. Our friend soon joined us, even though she knew none of the words, but she wanted to worship. She began weeping and dancing so happy and so free. God's presence came and her heart was touched. This is what I was made for. This lady who may be labeled an alcoholic is no different then you or me. I am not higher then her and neither are you. So lets just worship... lets love Jesus together because we can. This is what we are made for... It's not about us ministering to the person because He will minister, we are simply just there to love him and he will touch them on His own.

I am different... and I have never been so aware of it until now. It feels weird for me to be in a mall, to sleep in late, to watch a movie, or just think of having an 8-5 job. I can't do this without thinking of Jesus or without thinking of the person sitting next to me, or even the one in Africa. I don't care anymore if I read my bible, pray for the sick, go to church, because all those things are nothing if Jesus isn't involved... I just want to be with Jesus. I want my whole being to be about Jesus because I CAN DO NOTHING without HIM... because life is only about Him.

Jesus... you are my purpose. It doesn't matter if someone irritates me, because my life is about you. It doesn't matter if someone chews to0 loud, because my life is about you. Of course a movie or tv show doesn't matter, because my life is about you. Of course I wouldn't care any more about spending money and eating certain food, because my life is about you. So I can let go of the rest... I really can let go. And I do let go, because my life is about you. Jesus consume my mind, my heart, and my being with things of you.

Well... Am I ready? Are you ready? Here we go... a new purpose... a new life... a new adventure... It's just the beginning.

As we have now ended the journey... I have arrived safely home to the land of America and it of course feels strange to be here. My heart is more then ever burdened with Africa and for the plan Jesus has for me, as well as for community. Please pray for me as I seek God's heart for the next step for me and as I spend the next couple of months with my family.

Don't forget to enjoy the ride and enjoy JESUS!!!!