It rained today, the type of weather that screams 'stay in bed'. I didn't feel like going to the camp but I promised you I would, so I went. I had lots of plans for new games we could play and I also promised to still braid your hair. But you weren't there...
I walked through the camp, expecting you to come running, screaming my name as you always did, but you didn't. There were no running footsteps, no waving hair and bright smile. No one eagerly grabbing my hand and saying 'come, come' to play a new game. The atmosphere seemed heavy....
As I peered into empty tents I found your friend, the only one of the group left behind. I asked her where you were and she looked away as she muttered that you left. At first I didn't believe it. As I entered the camp I remember seeing the garbage bins overflowing with blankets of all the people who left but I didn’t think anything of it. I heard some desperate rumours about people planning to leave but they were from frustrated young men who were willing to risk everything to leave this prison. I never considered it possible that you could be swept away as well. I remember the low whispers from the shadows and still can't imagine your bright face among them.
And now you are gone...
I am sorry that you had to leave. I am sorry that I couldn't say goodbye. I am sorry that you had to leave your home and make this treacherous journey. I am sorry that you will still have to walk very far before you will finally be able to rest. I am sorry that your country is at war. I am sorry that the world didn't do more to protect you. I am sorry for everything that your innocent mind has seen and felt over the past few months. I am sorry that your childhood had been stolen from you and your education interrupted. I am sorry for how people have treated you when they should have shown you love. I am sorry that I didn't get the chance to play that game or show you that picture or give you more hugs. I am sorry that I didn't get to braid your hair...
There is no way for me to know if you are safe or if you made it to your destination. So I will pray. I pray that you are safe and warm. I pray that people will have favour with you, provide for you and love you. I pray for protection over your body, mind and heart. I pray for your innocence to be restored so that you will have hope for your future.
As I sit here with two cups of chai (tee) - one for me and one for you - I think of you helping me in the cafe and teaching me Persian, with the every so often 'you are crazy' coming my way.
I hope that wherever you are, that you will know that you are loved...at least by me.
I will think of you always...
Your friend
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