Not so long ago, I felt a bit lost, as though I couldn't feel the Holy Spirit as strongly as before... Being my Sustainer, and what I stood on, I felt lost without Him guiding me and empty without Him filling every ounce of my being. I couldn't understand why. I knew He was still with me, because I stand on His promise that He will never leave nor forsake me. But I couldn't feel Him at all...
I knew that there was a reason, a purpose for it. I thought maybe He wanted to teach me something - let me experience what it's like for those who are still lost and empty, those without God...
It took me a few weeks to come to the realisation:
• I have grown so used to the Spirit being in me, that I have taken Him for granted...
AND
• Through this time of weakness, God was showing me how desolate my life would be without Him and how it would have been impossible for me to do anything on my own.
He made me realise just how much we all actually need an intimate relationship with Him and that only He is the One who gives us the strength and the capability to do all that He has called us to do.
Please bare with me as my inner Marvel fan comes out, but if I may, I came to another realisation: What I was experiencing could be compared to the what the hero in the movie "Thor" experienced.
I will give you a really quick summary:
So in the movie, Thor is banished to Earth. He loses his power and his hammer, as he takes them for granted. On earth he goes through a journey, with the help and guidance from his new friends, He learns new things and he begins to change. His motives, his desires, his heart, who he is and his whole life is changed completely. He discovers. new and different parts of himself and is strengthened. Only after he has gone through all of this, is he able to get his power back, which is greater than ever before, and become who he was meant to be.
For me it was like the Spirit deserted me. So I felt powerless, helpless and lost. I still feel that I am on the "earth stage" but with the Lord guiding me in new ways I am being changed and strengthened daily, so that He can use me in 'new ways' and I can truly marvel in His presence and be ready for greater things that is yet to come. I want to step fully into who God has destined me to be.
Colton Dixon's "Never Gone" says it perfectly:
"I let go of your hand to help you understand who you are alone, I was never gone."
So God is NEVER gone, even if we don't feel Him. Whatever we are experiencing, He carries us through it and when it's over, we will come out even stronger than before. - The purpose of it all? - So that God can be Glorified! Isn't that amazing???
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