When I look around me I see a crowd of people. A rainbow nation from everywhere seeking one perpose. To pray to God to save our nation.
Our God is on the move. I can feel Him. I am experiencing His fathers love for us. Here is an atmosphere of peace. Its like we are all accepted by one another and by God.
When the whorship started, I started to cry I don't know why. I can't explain this feeling I had ,it was so overwhelming. For the first time in my life I really experience the Holy spirt. It was a holly moment in my life and I will never forget it.
My parents sat next to me and I could see that God was touching their hearts too. I was so glad I could share that moment with my mom and dad.
We waited a long time for Angus to appear on stage. But it was worth it because I was siting in the throne room of God spending time with Jesus. When Angus appeared we all sat with great antisipation on what will happen next. What happend next was profound. The nation of South Africa was kneeling on the dirt facing the God of creation and confessing their sins. It was as if the walls of seperation fell and we could all see the world differently for the first time.
I had so much joy after this experience. It was like I could laugh and never stop. Jesus was so present in that moment. When I was fasting a week before I was hoping I could have an experience like the one I had this weekend. I was dissapointed when I realised that I was not feeling closer to Jesus but meanwhile Jesus was at work in my heart. I think I was waiting for this clear miracle but all along Jesus was being gentle with me . It's so cool how Jesus knows us ,He knows I have a gentle spirt and that is how He works with me.
The Daniel fast was difficult for me. I had negative symptoms like headaches and nausea but it was also verry good for me. I received revealations that opend a new world for me. I realised I made food my idol. I depended on food for everything. I depended on food to give me energy and joy. Jesus told me He wants this to change ,He wants to be my source. I am still struggeling but I am thrusting Him for transformation in this area. I also discoverd that I am verry sensitive and I can feel what people feel without them telling me what is going on . This is a gift but I dont really know how to handle it ,so Jesus is also taking me on a journey to discover how I can give empathy for others without taking their problems on myself.
I am so exicted for this new journey of getting to know Jesus more. He is showing me more of Himself each day. His character and who He is ,is in everthing . He is in the people around us ,in nature in the little things of life. He is always there. Present in every moment . I must just be siltent and see Him ,even in the difficult moments of life.
I am reading Heidi baker's book Compeld to love. She describes it so well how blessed are the poor in spirt. I usally look at poor people and I feel sorry for them but it must be the other way around. They are so dependent on each other. They are aware of their brokeness. I think my problem most of the time is that I am not aware. I am not aware what effect I have on other people . I am not aware of my weakness. We live in a society of abundance - we always have. I feel Jesus is calling me to go live with the poor. To feel their pain and their daily life struggles. I want Jesus to show me His heart for all kinds of people.
All I can do now is wait on Him
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