When I met Jesus

I decided to do a global journey because Jesus was not a priority in my life anymore. He became a back up plan for when things were not going right in my life and that needed to change.

Last year I was working as an accountant. I did not love what I was doing at all and I became so frustrated thinking that this was something I was going to do for the rest of my life. This caused me to neglect my relationship with the Lord completely. I was depressed, frustrated and just miserable. One night I just cried out to God and He answered my prayers. On that same night I found out about global and I knew that it was something God wanted me to do. So this is how it all started.

Then there was the whole funds thing. How are you going to get all this money? That is a lot of money how are you going to raise it? These are just some of the questions I got when I told people that this is something I felt God wanted me to do. I knew the Lord was also calling me to a journey of trusting Him. Growing up and always being let down by the people around me I had to learn to be independent. I couldn't rely on anyone to do anything for me because I always got disappointed. So trusting the Lord was a challenge for me. I couldn't bring myself to truly 100% trust Him. And there was no way I could do this journey without Him. I was thrown into the deep end and I had to trust Him to keep me afloat. I trusted God with everything I had because I couldn't do this without Him. And He came through for me. My whole journey is paid for.

Even though I was on this amazing journey with Jesus it still felt like He was distant. Even though I was trusting Him it still felt like He was far away. I became so frustrated and I couldn't understand why our relationship was still the same. How come He still felt distant. I went through all of Asia with this feeling. When we got to Australia I really had no expectations. It was going to be like any other country. The Lord had other plans. One evening the Lord asked me if He could have my mornings. Everyday for the rest of my stay in Australia at 5 am just to spend time with Him, praying and reading His word and just sharing with Him what I wanted to achieve out of my days. It sounded fair enough so we started.

A few days into our mornings together I just realised how everything was about me. What I wanted to do and what I was hoping to get. He didn't feature at all in my days. I had an epiphany. He was not part of my life. He was not part of my journey. After that realisation there was a shift in my heart. I shifted the focus from what I wanted to what He wanted. And through that I experienced this weight being lifted of my shoulders. I wasn't trying to do things out of myself but what He wanted. I was filled with so much joy that waking up at 5 am in winter when it was freezing cold was nothing for me. I actually looked forward to those cold winter mornings when it was just me and Him. I realised that I am happiest when I am in His presence. It is the most beautiful feeling in the world.

Trusting the Lord is what brought me on this journey. And through trusting Him and truly giving everything to Him and knowing that His plans for my life are way better than any plans I will make, I experienced so much joy. Words cannot even begin to explain the feeling in my heart. :) Even though sometimes I have doubts and insecurities I know that nothing compares to totally surrendering to Him.