Today marks 1 month of the unexpected journey that is Global Challenge in my life, so far I have been reeducated in almost every area of my being. In one month God has miraculously stretched my faith filled me with his spirit and taught me so many truths. He has abolished the lies killed off the fears and taught me what true love means, the kind that is without expectation of getting anything back the kind that Jesus was the perfect example of. Saying that this is my latest truth.
A popular example of explaining the place I have been in my life throughout this month comes through the image of a plane, so bare with me. In this plane there is a pilot and a co-pilot like most planes, the pilot is supposed to steer the plane, keep it on track, make sure the ride is smooth and safe, but in this case the co-pilot keeps grabbing the yoke (control wheel) every time a storm intercedes and the passengers creep in from behind. Now to make sense of this, I am the co-pilot and God is the pilot. Because of lies, fear, comfort, and control (the passengers) hanging over my head I keep grabbing the yoke out of Gods grasp thinking I can do a better job of steering the plane (my life) through a storm. This past month has led me to see how ridiculous this ideology is.
We as Global students are going through training, so we are enjoying hours of countless wisdoms with many angles from different anointed speakers pouring into our lives daily, various debrief sessions, and many many challenges. All of these have been life altering to me, challenging but inspiring. But God has mysteriously worked in a lesson of his own, the topic ; control & comfort in scheduling. You see I am a compulsive yoke grabber, and Global mostly only tells you what you are doing till the day you do it. In this past week God has challenged me to stop trying to find out (to the irritation of my leaders) what we are doing next, where we are going, and even what we are eating.
My compulsive yoke grabbing root is fear, fear of not being able to steer the plane even though I am not the right person to do it. I will stand in a vulnerable state and admit that fear, independence, and doubt are some of my most opinionated first class passengers. They whisper into my ears until I grab the yoke. Although all are pretty self explanatory the run down is ; Fear of dying or getting hurt. Independence in the sense of I can do it on my own not needing God. Doubt, not believing God will be able to handle it or not believing he is even there to take the yolk.
But then breakthrough, after realising my plane is going to crash if I don't stop steering, God gave me word from various people that He will protect me from any and all harm, that He is with me on this journey, that He loves me, and He wants me to be in relationship with Him which means trusting Him with all life decisions. This shook me to my core and reminded me that he has grace towards me grabbing the yolk, he has grace towards me for listening to the lies that are my first class passengers, and through it all there is no condemnation because I have already been forgiven. How crazy!
Now I dwell in the truth of his word proclaiming over me; ''And I will be to her a wall of fire all around, declares the Lord, and I will be the glory in her midst.'' Zechariah 2:5 ESV
- Mariené Fullard
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