As I was admiring the waters on which Jesus calmed a storm with a few words, the Holy spirit reminded me of when Peter walked on the water to Jesus.
Staring at the peaceful waters of the sea of Galilee, admiring the hills from afar.. This is where Peter had to let go of his fears, doubts, worries, anxieties and just trust. He stepped out of that boat on to that water and walked toward Jesus. He had to keep his eyes fixed on Jesus and just trust that He won't let him drown. Imagine.. Realizing you have no control and all that you can do is pure trust!
And so at this place the Holy Spirit began to ask me to let go of my doubts, my fears of the future, anxieties and worries just like Peter had to.
I never had to REALLY trust God for provision in my life before- I always had a backup plan. I never surrendered control to Him because I always wanted to be in control.
The sad thing about not trusting God for breakthrough is that you are blind to see His goodness when breakthrough comes.
I've been realizing that God has put me in certain situations this year where He was stretching and growing my trust in Him.
Firstly to trust that He really is a good Father and that He works all things for good for those who love Him.
Secondly surrendering all control in situations that I can not control but also in situations that I can control.
Another one of these opportunities for growth was traveling from the Dead Sea to Amman Airport (to catch our flight). With neither enough time nor nearly enough finances to get there.
When I only realized this the night before we had to travel from the dead sea, I was making plans as fast as you would make plans when getting into trouble. I felt so overwhelmed but then beautiful Holy Spirit came to my rescue and calmed me. In that moment I realized this is impossible without Jesus and in that moment I surrendered.
With mustardseed faith, hitchhiking, adventure, much laughing, swimming in the dead sea, God-sent people who helped us - we arrived at the airport with much time to spare and a good nights rest. God's provision was evident in every detail.
Getting to that airport that night can be compared to the feeling of getting home. We all laughed in relief when we realized that there is trolleys to put our bags on and we don't have to carry it on our backs! (you learn to appreciate the small things in life)
No longer are the words "God is good" just words I say with my mind but a revelation I believe with my heart.
As I step out of the boat, I will put my feet firmly and confidently down on the water trusting. Not by my own strength, might, or control but by trust in Him. Because trust me when I say, now only after another few days of traveling - there has been many more opportunities for growth of my trust in God. It is not something I can at all do in my own strength.
I am learning to fix my eyes on Jesus on no longer on the water around me.
Every doubt whether I am good enough, doubt that God will come through, fear of what I can't control, fear of the future, everyday worries, anxiety in dreams and in the words I speak or the thoughts I think...
I let go....
And Jesus I trust in you.
Comments