To suffer well...

To suffer: to undergo, be subjected to, or endure pain, disability, death etc. patiently and willingly….

If I look back on the past few weeks and conversations I had, many topics come to mind: love for others, serving without reward, true wisdom, grace and mercy, forgiveness etc. But the theme that seemed to make its way into every situation was suffering. What does it mean to truly suffer? This question can be easily answered by my mind but for the first time I was confronted with a response from the heart.

As the definition above describes, suffering is normally involuntarily and unpleasant. So we endure it willingly and patiently, waiting for it to pass. It is something lurking beneath the surface of everyday faces, waiting to be shared because the burden of carrying it alone can become unbearable. The key to bringing it into the light? Love.

This love can be having a cup of tea with new made friends while laughing about your poor language skills or funny habits. And as you start to share stories of hope and love in difficult times from your own life, it pulls back the masks and the true emotions are revealed. It is then that you really see and hear what suffering really is. Suffering is seeing how your home is destroyed minutes after you ran out the front door. Suffering is seeing your child desperately clinging to his older brother’s dead body minutes after he was shot. Suffering is having to leave one child behind because you can only protect one at a time while you run through danger. Suffering is enduring physical bodily harm because of false accusations. Suffering is not knowing if your loved ones are alive, or where your next meal will come from or what will happen tomorrow. All of this is seen in a single tear running down a suddenly silent face.

So many stories, so many families, so much suffering. This might be the first time in my life that I consider what my friend Paul was referring to in his letters about suffering. It seems easy to rejoice if your suffering is having to endure a 2hour service instead of the normal 1h or drinking Frisco instead of Jacobs. But how do you ‘consider it pure joy’ when you experience the above mentioned things? How do you change your mindset about suffering and joy, accepting them as synonyms, when you hear such stories? Granted suffering looks different in everyone’s life, but after hearing stories like this and looking back over my life, I can only be thankful.

There is no justice in suffering. No logical argument. No consolation. And in that moment, no hope…

Yet we are instructed to consider it great joy to suffer. To be sanctified through testing. To be purified like silver, heated repeatedly, so that we may be a pure reflection of the silver smith. The silver doesn’t question the smith’s methods, nor does it curse or criticize him. It gives him glory and honour in the process of purification. And that is the point. ‘Our trials, testing and temptations are secondary to his glory.’

Even though my mindset is slowly changing in this matter and my action reflect it, I know that journeying on suffering is a very long one. I feel like my perspective on suffering has grown deeper and my heart broken in the process…

“Our vulnerability will either lead us toward idols, which temporarily alleviate our suffering but ultimately disintegrate us—or toward God, who brings integration and reveals our true self.”