This is me...

Wow. I read the blogs of the people I'll be joining on 80days (and the others already on their respective challenges) and...wow...The commitment amazes me , each blog tells a story of not only a journey that has yet to happen...but a journey that has been started quite some time ago ...and after reading all the blogs it makes it difficult to write my own...simply because I feel that I am no different to any person sitting next to me, that I have no "special" story to tell... My reasons for doing 80days have changed so much over the last couple of months. I have always known God (I was brought up with the most loving Christian parents and brother) but as for a relationship with God (and especially Jesus) it was more based on religious activities than an intimate and loving relationship. The scary thing is that I was fully aware of this and for months, actually a couple of years I prayed that I would get pulled back into Him, that He would become my base and my world... We have a saying in our cell-group , "Be careful what you pray for"...this year I faced a tremendous hardship, something I knew I could not get through on my own, and even though I knew this I still tried my ways. But suddenly I was on my knees constantly, just because it felt like I was holding on for dear life, and I knew if I let go now I would not make it. And God provided. He brought me through this and He did in record time... As for my reasons for doing 80days? At the start I felt I needed to go off to find God and to "heal". He showed me that this is most definitely not the case...He is always present and healing is not dependent on place and time, but on Him, wherever, whenever. So what now? Obviously it will be great to see different places...obviously it will be nice to take a "break" from every day life...but in my current situation the above reasons do not justify 3months. So then, what now I ask again? To go back on my previous statement, I do intend to go and find God...or at least find Him in different places, in different ways. The 3 months will be for Him, as I mentioned I cannot give any "logical" reason to go (I feel healed, I am aware of His presence) --- the only thing left is this feeling in me that I should go and that the things He'll show me will be what I am not able to imagine...even more so the things I will find when I get back. And that is it. I am going on 80days to serve...(and through this, I will learn, experience and appreciate Him more in my life) Well, that was me. Or at least a couple of paragraphs of me. Looking forward to blog again, next time from a couple of thousand kilometers away... Cheers Martin