'GOD IS LIGHT IN HIM THERE IS NO DARKNESS' "Can't you see?" the he said to me, "See what?" I asked. "That you are white washed, you are clean," then he continued "Will you give it to me?..." Totally confused by this question I asked: "What, what do you want me to give? My life? Is that the right answer?... What is it that you ask of me?". "Your darkness" he replied. "What darkness and how do I give it? Why do you want it anyway?" He answered me after awhile "Your rejection, your sadness, your pain. I want...
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This was a hard question that kept popping up in our first two countries: Rwanda & Uganda. This was the reason why these two countries was the toughest so far.
I knew that teaching English and sharing some Bible stories with children and building relationship with people might make a difference in some way, I just couldn't see it right then and there. For four weeks this is what we did - and believe me it feels like a lifetime if you are far away from home, are sick, tired and can't seem to see the purpose in you being here. All we really did was spend time with people and listen to them - which was surprisingly exhausting.
Although there is a saying that time is the most precious thing you can give, at that stage it just didn't feel like it made a difference.
What I really needed was for Jesus to come and redefine missions for me. To have people 24/7 around you and find a space to spend personal time with Jesus in this time was really challenging for me and thus it took me awhile to get the answer to this question. Finally one morning God answered my question with a question while I was looking at a new branch of a plant I sat next to. He asked me, "Do you know how I grew this branch" and my answer to this was "No Lord, You do so I don't have to " and just like that God taught me the most freeing thing - I don't always have to know how He works, because He knows.
