God does not need me, He wants me!!

 I have just realized once again that God does not do things like we do it. God has His perfect time, His perfect ways. That my life, my being is not about me, but that it’s all about Jesus. Psalm 8:3-4 “ When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him and the son of man that you care for him.” I only live through His grace and by faith. I have realized that God’s plan for my life will not always be in my comfort zone and that I can’t take control of my life if I submit under God. That faith is not your own doing, having faith  is the gift of God, it is not our right to have faith at all. To look over your soul daily and ask: Where is the blood of Jesus Christ to be seen upon my soul? What righteousness is it that I stand upon to be saved? I saw what the wound of sin made in my soul and living according to my own will, will just poison the sore. This year God took me out of my comfort zone to shape and mould me and have an intimate relationship with Him. He took me away from home, away from my family, my friends and away from a special person in my life to be fully dependant on Him, and sometimes it’s still scary!!  But the Lord is my Sheppard and I shall not want. My goal for  the end of the year when I finish this journey is; that God has to be more real to me than the people around me.

I also just want to inform you that we are flying on eagle’s wings as God’s favour is upon our team. We had a divine appointment with the church right across the street from the backpackers where we lived in Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia,andwith God there is no such thing as coincidence. They offered us the opportunity to serve their youth and young adults. We got to do dramas sharing our life’s testimonies, worshipping God together and having amazing fellowship with believers. They just blessed us so much I don’t know where to begin. They were friendly, helpful and their conversations delightful. Thank you God you are UNBELIEVABLE and WOWWW, how God provided food through these incredible people. I feel humbled by how great God is, and moved by His love for us. I truly believe Revival is coming in Kota Kinabalu!!!!

 One of the most profound things for me on this journey is when you are in a different country, far away from home and you meet fellow believers, brothers and sisters worshipping the same living God, Jesus Christ. I immediately feel at home. Just before we met up with Sacred Heart Church, Thuli and I was walking back from the shop and our hearts was heavy, as we were walking we heard singing that sounded like worshipping and as we looked up we saw the sign Calvary Charismatic Centre, we decided just to quickly go upstairs and check it out, upstairs the guy at the front said that they are a Christian Charismatic Church, my heart was instantly filled with Joy. He said that they are having a prayer meeting and would we like to join them. We then worshipped God and prayed with them just as one body, it was so profound and beautiful. I experienced this as an appointment with my KING and FATHER! That worship and prayer session was exactly what we needed to lift our heavy hearts. That just shows that God cares for us and attends to our needs, He is a Father to us, and we are important to Him. Jesus is so beautiful.

 What this journey has thought me is that my weapon to fight my battles is with joy. The joy of the Lord is my strength. Because Satan wants to steal our joy and he will never stop trying. Working in a team of 13 total different personalities 24 hours of the day does have its challenges. Still I can’t imagine this journey without them; they make me laugh and cry. . It’s important to know that Satan will attack the unity in the group, but to put the thing that bothers you behind you and take and make every effort for unity in the team. The more we achieve the more the enemy will attack.

 Everyday I need to examine myself and motivate myself to keep climbing to the top of the mountain, and to know by keep climbing my strength and character will grow. It’s like sunflowers that follows the sun and draws its strength from the sun, so I will follow Jesus and draw my strength from Him.

I am a woman who will one day stand before God and receive a white stone but I will also be the source of others judgement so God is working patiently in me. God has my heart and like the Potter, is still busy kneading it to His will. God is revealing different steps of a dance to me, making me strong and perfecting the steps, sometimes it’s frustrating and hard work but I know at the end when all the different moves are put together it will form a beautiful final dance. I have also learned that God can do in us in one day what we think will take a thousand years and that God will not show you what is on the road ahead but He will thoroughly equip you for the journey ahead. To keep learning, enjoy the journey and tolerate ambiguity. But the most incredible thing for me still remains the fact that we are the air of Jesus Christ our God.