Thailand was indeed full of whimsy. In the physical as well as the spiritual. When I think back on our time in Thailand I have these brief moments where I just remember long hour bus trips, waiting on bus stations at unusual times in the morning and I definitely think about a few trails.
But most of all. I think of moments that feel, well to be honest, moments that feel unreal. Almost to say, a few movie moments, in Notting Hill, Hugh Grant tells Julia Roberts that the time he spends with her feels like a movie, unreal, "surreal but nice." My time in Thailand was like this, surreal but nice, filled with whimsy.
Surrounded by lovers, lovers of Jesus! Lovers of life! Lovers of people, lovers of whimsy and lovers of love I found myself in reality for the first time. And for the first time ever I was surrounded by laughter wrapped up in whimsy and I could honestly say that reality was better than my dreams.
Maybe it's because reality finally makes sense. By this I mean I can finally pick up the Bible, read and I understand. I have insight. What a privilege. For the first time in just enjoying life. I'm enjoying being able to breathe. Having eyes that amaze me. Have you played with your eyes before? It's better than any camera I can assure you.
I'm enjoying the relationships I have. With beautiful men of God that treat me like a fair lady. To be honest. It is the best feeling in the world and the lesson I now have from that is that I won't settle for anything less. This is what it feels like to be honored. I believe that God intends if to be like this in marriage as well and therefore my perspective on men has changed forever! Thank you God for my brothers in Christ!
God has also opened my eyes to a little whimsy and I find myself doing the cites child like things. This makes me giggle and the giggles also makes me giggle! I'm just exploding with childlike excitement by planning scavenger hunts to encourage someone and just spending time with new people, picking new brains! Getting new insights on things. God is just showing me what it's like to live.
Well Thailand hasn't been all smiles I'm afraid. It was packed with emotion and conflict which was rooted out of pride, but again, God is good! God is faithful and my heart has changed even though the conflict hasn't! My emotional breakdown was a surprise to everyone, even me (full of surprises right???)
It turned out that God had put aside Thailand to work through my father's death. Reality is great, but for brief moments, it hurts. Still God remains faithful. Which reminds me of a verse I have come to love just confirming all of God's faithfulness; 2 Timothy 2:13 "If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny himself."
This childlike behavior has spilled over into love, and sometimes, even if it's just for a little while, I dance whilst holding my dress as a 5 year old. Pure, happy and innocent before God. I think God has a liking for my childlike side, because then we both giggle!
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