Firstly. I've fallen in "love" a million times. So badly I would believe that I won't be able to ever live again if the relationship didn't work out. Turns out I could. Point is. I'm a sucker for love. Or so I thought! Man.. What is love anyway? I've "given up on it" so many times you'd think I'd at least know what "it" is. Well I didn't. I actually still don't. But God is teaching me what it is. Bit by bit. See I thought love was some warm fuzzy feeling when you hold someone's hand.. Or stare into...
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Inhale Abba. Exhale I belong to You. Such a powerful song. Abba I belong to You! You're more real than the ground I'm standing on, more real than the air in my lungs. My Abba. Father. Wow. John 1: 12-13 12 Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.13 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God. It was a shock to me when I first heard that the holy Koran has 99 names for...
I think it's important to remember that God didn't create religion. People did. It's funny, we run around placing little labels on all sorts of spiritual things and calling it OUR RELIGION. Isn't that just what we do with people as well? See we meet people. We kinda talk to them for a while, "get to know them" without getting to know them and then we slap a sticker all over what we "know" about them and we file them in a box with a lot of other stuff with the same stupid label. Our own little factory if...
Istanbul! How cool was it to be in one city on two different continents!!!! That blew my mind! But what caught me first is how alive everything was. Driving from the airport in Asia to our guesthouse in Europe (I know.. It sounds quite cool.) I saw that this city definitely never sleeps. Buildings light up and dance, all around amazing tulip plantations show you which way to go. I was captivated by the beauty of Turkey. My heart ached at the sight of everything. I knew that this would be my favorite country! When we reached Mavi Guesthouse we...
I used to fear that lies I told would rise to the surface and make me fall. I used to fear that I would never be enough, not for anybody not for myself. I used to fear that what I did in the dark would come to the light. That's who I used to be, that's what I used to do. But then I met Jesus, I stood face to face with the biggest truth of ever have to face. To be honest, I couldn't face it. I fell I fell face first to the ground. How do you...
Thailand was indeed full of whimsy. In the physical as well as the spiritual. When I think back on our time in Thailand I have these brief moments where I just remember long hour bus trips, waiting on bus stations at unusual times in the morning and I definitely think about a few trails. But most of all. I think of moments that feel, well to be honest, moments that feel unreal. Almost to say, a few movie moments, in Notting Hill, Hugh Grant tells Julia Roberts that the time he spends with her feels like a movie, unreal, "surreal...
"You can only love Me with the amount you love yourself." When I heard that I felt like I should have gotten up and ran as fast as I could. Run until my legs couldn't carry me anymore. I couldn't though. It was as if something had glued me to the cold cement floor. "You can only love Me with the amount you love yourself." Lord. I don't even acknowledge myself as a person? How do I love myself??? "You are allowed to love Me, love me with unconditional LOVE, and feel good about it." What is unconditional love?...
3:00am the alarm went off. Lord what is happening?? 2 hours of sleep and emotions bigger than the 20kg bag of luggage. I'm scared? Lord, this is taking a blind step of faith.. This is leaving my family behind. This is stepping into the unknown. This is frightening.. This is EXCITING!! Predestined for greatness. This is just the beginning! My heart bursts with excitement, not even my tiredness can hold it back. This is madness! Reality is too real for the moment. Should I pinch myself? 8 months of faith building. 8 months of seeking God. 8 months of discovering...
Sure, everyone has heard that phrase before. But does one understand what it truly means? I've lost a lot of things in my life. Too much to remember. Some so valuable that I'll never be able to replace it. Some I gave away, some were taken. Do I understand now how valuable they actually were? No. Not fully. Will I? I suppose so... Time will reveal the value to me. Time has revealed the value of some things to me. Some things I've taken for granted for most of my life. I'm not talking about a new iPhone, a Mac...
Predestined for greatness? Who? Me? Ha-ha God.. Nice one. Oh! You're serious?? I still remember how my heart pounded in my chest the first day of training. January 11th. How scared I was. New faces. New people, and still the same old me. Who are you God? Who are you? As training progressed I remember feeling even more foggy. Even more useless. Who am I God??? Who am I????? Training was supposed to be a waist of time, or so I thought. But in the middle of the madness I found how broken I really was. This is me...