Beauty for ashes♡

So, I woke up in my own bed this morning after 7 weeks of sleeping in unfamiliar places with people I hardly know. Now I can say that I have 35 new homes built in my heart. On Thursday night we were commisioned, and man, what a long journey to FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!! 

Talking about homes.  Time to be honest about the one I'm living in. The one you can't see with your eyes.  The one you feel with your heart.  

For quite a long time, I was disobedient and didn't want to leave behind the familiar, to experience the unkown, amazing plan Jesus has for my life.  I eventually stopped being so stubborn and left it all behind and joined the Global Challenge clan.  Little did I know, that life would never, ever be the same.  

I came from a place where not being okay, was not okay.  My veins were flooded with law and perfomance and I honestly didn't know who I was anymore.  I felt isolated, depressed and totally misunderstood....I wanted to go home and quit.  I didn't want to face my demons and give it all to Jesus, because that would mean CHANGING and stepping into the unfamiliar.  

Jesus started reminding me of my house.  With Piet Franss teachings I realised that I had a major problem.  I was controling my own life, even though I was saved, I wasn't completely surrendered.  I KNEW I had to die to myself and allow Jesus to rebuild my foundations, remove lies and show me who I really am.  I felt hopeless.  I needed to get out of this "broken house" , and FLY!! But I found myself standing in the door frame holding on for dear life.  

He started working, and oh how He worked.  He is such a gentleman and He flooded me with His love and mercy.  Romance, He knows all about that.  I cried, I weeped, I kicked and I screamed, but He remained gentle.  I believed so many lies, and He just came and cancelled them all out.  

In the rebuilding, Jesus also used His diciples to pour some cement in to my new foundation. Mighty men, and women who gave me Hope, who showed me Jesus in new ways. I've always believed that everything is somehow connected, and that nothing ever happens by chance.  I don't even believe in luck.  I believe that every meeting and moment is orchestrated by Gods hand.  And today I'm thankful. I'm thankful because when I wanted to give up, Hope was restored. When I felt like I'll never fit in, Jesus reminded me that I am not supposed to.  I was reminded what it was like to be seen through the eyes of Jesus.  I was encouraged. My ideas were challenged.  Everything I thought was true, well, that was all part of the destructing and rebuilding of Lenita Michelle Matthews, child of a King called Jesus Christ.  Thank YOU!!!! 

So, on a normal Wednesday night, I DIED!!!! My spirit yelled FREEDOM and I yelled truth in to my foundations, while Jesus wispered "I'm a Good Good Father, it's who I am, and you are loved by Me, it's WHO YOU ARE!! I cried, I laughed, and I rejoiced in the knowing (and i quote) that it is okay not to be okay, because that is what grace is all about. I am okay in knowing that I am who I am because of Him.  I might not know it all, but I BELIEVE that I am who HE says I am.  And its enough.  Its really all I need.  Freedom has never tasted this sweet.  

Remembering the past 7 weeks of my life, all I can say is WOW!!! I learned to love like He loves. Recklessly and unconditoinally.  No expectations.  Serving. Being equipped.  Marrying the land but also learning the art of letting go with a grateful heart. 

Jesus took me from crawling, to walking, to running, to dancing, all the way to FLYING. (Pun intended) 

He is so faithful!! In Cape-Town, in Jeffreys bay, in Plettenberg bay, everywhere He is faithful!!

In the restoring of our hearts He is faithful!!! In the character building, He is faithful!!

Now the adventure starts! I'm excited to experience more of His heart for us and the nations.  His promises never run dry. His Spirit's like a River flowing through.  Life starts NOW, AND THE BEST IS YET TO COME!!